Choosing Pain

In the last blog I mentioned I’ll be starting from this point. So here it is…

Pain can come in various shapes and forms. It can be predicted or it can come around the corner and smack you in the face! Now, when it is predicted, it doesn’t hurt, because you’re prepared. The real deal, is, what to do when you get smacked in the face with full force? And here’s also a thing about this smacking, you can’t control it, you don’t know how long it is going to hurt, even what to do about that hurt. And yeah, it SUCKS! BIG TIME!!

So, here’s what you do, don’t ever try to run from it (I say this, because it’s the first instinct), instead feel it. Yes it hurts, but I’ll tell you what, it hurts more when you try to avoid it. Try to feel it and it will lessen, even if just a little. Acceptance is the key to moving on from the pain. And we all know, moving on, in its true essence is extremely important in life, rather, is the necessity of life. So, sit with your pain. After acceptance, comes the clarity of thought and situation. Analyze the situation you’re in, if it’s anyhow your fault, forgive yourself, if it’s not your fault, don’t try and make it one and never try to blame it. Because blaming just ruins your mental peace, it stems anger and frustration, and both of those things never do any good to anyone! And when all your instincts about blaming will truly go away, you’d have a better understanding of the situation and clarity of thoughts to move forward.

Then, MOVE FORWARD! It’s the most arduous job to do. In your misery, you dream about living without your misery every single day, you even take all the previous steps and feel better and positive about it but when you’re truly ready to move forward, your feet freeze! You stop dead in your tracks. Do you know why? Because no matter how much you hate it, your misery becomes your comfort zone. It’s easy to feel and be in pain rather than try and do something about coming out of it (yes you may not like hearing this but it’s true). So yes, no matter what your mind tells you, or you feel like your body is against it, MOVE FORWARD, because that’s the only way.

In this article, i never said, it’s going to be easy. Every step is as difficult as it gets, but then think, what is life without all this? How do you grow, if not for pain? How do you learn humbleness, if not for pain? How do you become HUMAN, If not for pain?

Pain – Bearable/Unbearable

“Pain” the word is often misunderstood. It is taken as negative, something we don’t want in our lives; rather don’t need in our lives. We would do anything, will go to any length, will do whatever it takes to remove it from our lives, won’t we? But, we are missing one point, right here, it’s staring us in the face, yet we’re so preoccupied with our obsession of removing the pain that we don’t notice it! Which is, that Pain is what pushes us into Acting on things. Pain is what propels us to do better. It’s because of pain, that we actually start growing or you can say start walking from one point to another, and hence complete a journey, only to embark on another. So now, tell me, is Pain really bad? I don’t think so.

What I do think is, that pain hurts and it hurts like a bitch! My pain might be different from your pain, it might even be lesser in broader perspective, but for me, in that moment, my pain is the most unbearable thing ever! Even if it’s just my stomach because of my period cramps and not because of an abusive childhood. Now here’s where people make a mistake. When they see someone in pain, and if their pain is not “up to the mark” of pain that they deem fit to sympathize, they diss it. Totally! Completely! Utterly! They’ll tell you right on your face that you’re irrelevant, that your suffering isn’t worth their time or even kind words. Yes, I understand not everything could/should be treated like an emergency or with the highest level of empathy, but a little kindness is what everyone deserves. Why, you ask? Because it gives them strength! It enables them to look past that pain and helps them overcome it gradually. You see, that person is hurting, whatEVER the reason! But they ARE hurting and even if you don’t comprehend it, you should not make them feel unimportant about it. A lot of people don’t talk about their pain/problems precisely because of this reason. And when they’re diagnosed with depression or anxiety we wonder why! I guess it’s time we change this perspective.

But there is an interesting thing about pain, it is only unbearable when we don’t choose it. Pain is bearable if it’s self inflicted! Let me elaborate. Think about it, if I asked you to punch a wall for me, and you do it, it’s going to hurt you much more than when and if you choose to do it yourself in anger or while exercising! You might even be able to hit it harder. So what changed? Your thinking! Same way, problems, if we choose them are easy to solve and hence cause us less pain. But the trick is to still choose to look for a solution when you haven’t chosen the problem/pain. And trust me, it is DAMN DIFFICULT, no matter what others tell you.

But more on that later, will continue the next one, from this point only. Till then, I hope you got enough to ponder on, until next time. Ciao!